Lavery-log

“I, personally, am not a homosexual, but…” and so goes the intro to most defenses for homosexuality. I am straight, but that is hardly relevant to my compassion for homosexuals. To be tormented with the idea of living life as you are and facing hell after death or living life as it is expected and facing hell on earth hardly qualifies as an easy decision for those that are, in fact, born “different.” Being gay is not a choice, and to say it is undermines your own ability at decision-making.

My good friend Zach, who only definitively came out recently, wrote:

“I have known there was something different about me as long as I can remember. I feared everyday that someone would find out that I was gay, so I lived my life to conceal who I am. Whatever it was that tipped people off - they figured I was - so, everyday I was tortured at school. I was called a faggot in the halls, pushed into lockers, hit, had pennies flicked at my head and had someone hold me over the railing of the stairway on the second story of my school and threaten to drop me.

“It got to the point where I stood in my empty house holding a handful of pills. Thankfully, I was too afraid of hell to take the pills, so I put them back in the bottle and spent the night crying in bed. I finally came out of hiding when I was 19. It was taken relatively well, except by my grandparents who told me I was going to hell and told me that they were going to go to the doctor to find out how to deal with me when I got AIDS.

“It has taken time, but through the years I have come to the point where I love who I am, and I wouldn’t want to change a thing about myself.”

Two Novembers ago, Tennesseans voted on a constitutional ban on gay marriage. Is it any surprise the ban won with flying colors?

Before you jump to a conclusion because it just seems wrong or it just says so in the Bible, remember that the same gut feeling of general discomfort and the same book were what once prevented Jews from swimming in the community pool, women from voting and blacks from riding in the front of the bus. What years ago was considered “just the way it should be” is now inhumane and unarguably not the way anyone should be treated.

The most common claim is that allowing gay marriage somehow dilutes the institution - because Britney Spears didn’t water it down enough already. Call me crazy, but I’m of the opinion that adultery, marrying for money, marrying for a good drunken laugh or treating your spouse badly because you would rather be with someone else all dilute the “institution” more. Even more, not all religions hold homosexuality as sinful, and since America is a country with - hallelujah! - a separation of church and state, religious beliefs hardly hold any credibility in this neverending argument.

Even if one believes a homosexual to be a sinner, state laws provide and high courts have ruled that sinners, such as murderers, tax-evaders, wife-beaters and adulterers - even if they are still in prison - have the constitutional right to marry.

So, for those of you vehemently opposed to gay marriage, let me ask you where the solution lies. Do we attempt to change a homosexual’s programming for the sake of social uniformity - a process which, over the years, has seen a success rate of somewhere between 0 and 0.1 percent? Do we pretend that a “legal-union” is to par with or has the same emotional, mental and economical benefits as legal marriage? Or, do we simply deny an entire group their civil equality so those opposed don’t have to deal with what goes on in same-sex couple’s bedrooms? Believe it or not, you don’t have to watch.

Marriage, undoubtedly, holds people together. Imagine a world without it; something tells me that promiscuous sex, dysfunctional relationships and sexually transmitted diseases might become more common. Everyone deserves the chance for the American Dream: the chance to experience dysfunctional relationships protected with the legality of marriage.

Don’t ride the fence on this issue. “I love gay people; I have lots of gay friends, but I don’t think gay people should be able to get married.” I hate to break it to you, but you don’t love them and they aren’t your friends if you don’t think they deserve equality.